How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
