I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
