There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
