i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
