Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
