How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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