hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
