i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is wine microwaveable?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
