Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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