i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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