We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
