Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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