Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That accounts for only three of the penises
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
