I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
