I didn't shave. On purpose
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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