I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize