You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
