oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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