what if every blade of grass was a penis?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
