Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
