What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
