Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
...so i touched it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
