I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
