Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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