ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
