I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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