I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
