Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
