everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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