i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize