I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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