i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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