My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
