This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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