I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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