8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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