Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
