is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize