My Higher Power is John Stamos
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
