haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
