my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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