they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize