come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
