YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
