i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She said her name was "party"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
