Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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