she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
