I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
