Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
