HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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