you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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