Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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