i don't plan on having that self control this summer
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize