I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
