When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
